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24 November 2009 @ 06:16 pm
Supernatural Cast fic: Dem Bones  
liptonrm was telling baylorsr that there's a lot of Hurt!Castiel fic going around right now, and then baylorsr told me and I caught it.

Title: Dem Bones
Author: allamboy
Rating: G
Fandom: Supernatural/RPF
Pairing: None; Misha, Jensen, Jared (also Castiel, Dean, Sam)
Summary: “Ooohhh,” Misha said in sudden comprehension, because he’d forgotten that if his hand was broken, Castiel’s would be too. “Poor angel,” he said, and shut his eyes.

Castiel wasn’t even supposed to be in the fight scene. All Misha had to do was stand there and watch in his Castiel bubble of calm while Sam and Dean slammed each other around and yelled, then say, “We don’t have time for this,” all serious and grave. So, you know, Tuesday.
Jensen and Jared are really good at hitting their marks, even in fight scenes, and Jensen’s foot was only barely out of position, but then the nightstand was slightly out of position and the lamp quivered and tilted and started to fall. Misha didn’t even think about it, didn’t even have to move, just put his hand out to catch the lamp, but then Jensen twisted to do the same, and then Jared did this stretch-leap thing with his giant orangutan arms, leaning over Jensen, who was stretching toward the lamp.
Misha caught the lamp. Jared tripped and knocked Jensen and the nightstand over. Jensen tripped and knocked Misha over. Somehow, Misha’s arm was all the way on the bottom of what ensued, beneath the lamp and the nightstand and his co-workers and his own body.
Hand bone’s connected to the wrist bone, one part of Misha’s mind sang, while the other part informed him in a most unpleasant way that something was very wrong.
* * *

His room at the ER was a nice, soothing peachy-blue. It shouldn’t have been both peachy and blue, yet it was. The nurses were nice too, and so was the whole crew. Everyone was nice to Misha.

He hummed to himself and watched the lights from the TV bounce off the peachy-blue walls.
“Hey,” someone said, and it was Jensen, looking concerned and abashed. Misha lifted his good hand and waved.
“You all right?” Jensen asked, and took a step closer.
“I feel … good,” Misha said, and Jensen laughed, because Misha’s a funny guy, he knows this.
Jensen scrubbed the back of his neck with a hand. “Jay won’t come in,” he said. “He’s all distraught and, yeah.”
“Jared is usually all,” Misha said sagely. He started humming again.
“Anyway,” Jensen said, “we’re still both really sorry.”
“’S’kay,” Misha said, and let his eyes shut. Wrist bone’s connected to the elbow bone.
“What?” Jensen asked.
“Hmm?” Misha said. People outside the room were talking in very important voices. Jensen stuck his head out the door and advised them to keep it down.
“Sorry,” Jensen said. “Phil’s on the phone with Kripke and Singer, trying to figure out what to do.”
Misha frowned. “Do about what?” he asked. Nothing needed to be done. He was just fine in his peachy-blue room, where he planned to stay for the foreseeable future.
“Castiel,” Jensen clarified, and Misha furrowed his brow at him. Castiel could just stay right in the peachy-blue room with him. After all, Misha was still wearing Castiel’s trenchcoat, and the angel didn’t like to get too far from it.
Jensen was very carefully lifting the ice pack off Misha’s non-good hand. Misha craned his head to look at it. It seemed much larger than usual.
“Castiel,” Misha pondered.
“Yeah,” Jensen said, wincing at the sight of the hand. “Because, you know, angels don’t break their arms.”
“Ooohhh,” Misha said in sudden comprehension, because he’d forgotten that if his hand was broken, Castiel’s would be too. “Poor angel,” he said, and shut his eyes.

After Castiel had finished delivering that week’s gloom and doom (this time about Famine, who Dean was betting drove something really ironic like an ice cream truck), Sam and Dean both sat and stared at him.
“Didn’t you hear me?” Castiel said urgently. “There is no time to waste.”
“Hey, Cas,” Dean said, and humored him by standing up and tossing things into his duffel. “What’s with the arm?”
“What arm?”
“Your arm,” Sam said. “You’ve got a …” He looked at Dean for help.
“Your arm’s in a cast,” Dean said.
Castiel was either embarrassed or pissed off that Dean wasn’t already turning the key in the ignition.
“There is nothing wrong with my arm,” Castiel said gravely, adding, “I will meet you there,” before vanishing with the whisper of wings.
* * *

“Do you think he took himself to an ER?” Dean mused.
Sam scrunched his face up snottily. “I don’t know,” he said.
“I didn’t even think he could get hurt,” Dean said. “Remember when Bobby and I shot him up and then I stabbed him with Lilith’s knife?”
“He’s cut off from heaven now, Dean,” Sam said, less pissily. “Apparently, he can get hurt.”
“Bet he lost his health insurance when he quit, too,” Dean said.
Sam shot him a nasty look.

Jared brought Misha water, and coffee, and hot chocolate, and Sour Patch Kids, and a sandwich, then hovered around, presumably trying to think up something else to bring Misha. Misha was torn between reassuring Jared that these things happen and he was fine, really, and seeing how ridiculous of a request he could get Jared to fill.
“I’m all good, Jared,” he said, because he’s a nice guy, c’mon.
“Kay,” Jared said, but stayed fidgeting beside Misha’s chair.
“Hey, do they have any of those little mini-muffins like they did last week?” Misha asked, and Jared perked up.
“I can look,” he said.
“Yeah, but if they have the nuts on top, I don’t want them,” Misha added. “I’d pick them off, but, you know,” and he held up the cast and waved it around.
“I’ll pick the nuts off,” Jared said, and he was vibrating with eagerness. “You just wait here, I’m going to –“ and he was gone.
“You’re a dick,” Jensen said from beside Misha, not looking up from his phone.
“He is so easy,” Misha said, and sipped at his hot chocolate.

Sam and Bobby were doing the heavy-lifting research while Dean and the Impala did the heavy lifting, so Castiel got to sit in the passenger’s seat. The cast sat on the seat in between them.

Dean had to admit, it smelled a lot better than Sam’s last cast. Or, at least, it didn’t stink like Sam’s last cast had.
Castiel sighed. “There was an … incident,” he said, and he sounded like Dean was trying his infinite patience.
“I guess,” Dean said. “Who put the cast on?”
“I went to the nearest emergency facility when I was unable to rectify the problem myself,” Castiel said.
“Uh-huh,” Dean said. “Did you sign in as Castiel, Angel of the Lord?”
“I told them I was Jimmy Novak,” Castiel said, and Dean said, “Oh,” because that made more sense.
“Does it hurt?” Dean asked a minute later.
“Yes,” Castiel said with no more or less distress in his voice than his usual baseline.
“How did you pay?” Dean asked after another minute, and Castiel was silent. “Cas?”
“I … zapped the clerk,” the angel said, and then shot Dean such a dark sideways look that he didn’t dare laugh.
When he felt he could control himself, Dean said, “Well, glad you’re all right.”
Castiel was silent.

Misha took two of the big don’t-sue-us-you-signed-waviers-anyway-remember? goodie baskets that the CW had sent and had them delivered to Jared and Jensen at home. He stuck a Post-It note on each on that said, “Sorry – M.”

Then he tweeted. (Seriously, has there ever been anything better than Twitter invented, solely because now Misha can tell people that he tweeted, or he’s a tweeter, or he likes to tweet – you get the idea.)
Crash on set via clumsy co-workers causes complications of character. To ponder: Can an angel be injured?
Then he popped a Vicodin and stretched out on the couch, laptop in lap, to watch the chaos.
* * *

New community: hurtcastiel
New community: mishahc
Fandom_Wank post: How the Winchesters broke their angel (and their fandom)

“Stop squirming or this will never work!”
“I do not squirm.”
“Let me tell you, as a big brother and squirming expert, you’re squirming.”
There was the thump of a chair and some muttering.
“Trust me.”
“I trust you without fail.”
“Really? Because I fail at trusting.”
And now there was a rhythmic sawing sound.
“You’d better be hacking off Cas’ cast,” Sam said from under the blankets.
“It … itches,” Castiel said tightly.
“Don’t move,” Dean yelled.
“I’m not moving.”
Sam shoved his pillow over his head.
liptonrm: spn castiel-b_splitliptonrm on November 25th, 2009 12:41 am (UTC)
Once again, I am every so grateful that you're around, Jason, to do the things that baylorsr and I can't admit that we do.

“Bet he lost his health insurance when he quit, too,” Dean said.

Don't worry, I'm sure Lando CalrissianJuly and Bilbo BagginsBuddy would be willing to take care of an angel, since they were nice enough to patch Han SoloDean up that one time.

Edited at 2009-11-25 12:42 am (UTC)
allamboy: Red Polo Jasonallamboy on November 28th, 2009 06:19 pm (UTC)
They only patched Dean up because they thought he might actually be an angel. Imagine how disappointing the real deal is going to be for them.
oxer12 on November 25th, 2009 12:43 am (UTC)

Poor Cas...

Then he tweeted.

Misha's tweets are so awesome.
allamboy: Red Polo Jasonallamboy on November 28th, 2009 06:20 pm (UTC)
The phraseology of Twitter never ceases to amuse me.
MacByrnemacbyrne on November 25th, 2009 02:53 am (UTC)

I can just picture Misha getting Jared to get those mini-muffins, and then in his Castiel voice saying, "I do not squirm.". ROFL.

Awesome and so cute and funny. Great job!
allamboy: Red Polo Jasonallamboy on November 28th, 2009 06:20 pm (UTC)
Thanks, glad you liked it!
Der Jadestein: hobbeslittle_jade on November 28th, 2009 11:07 am (UTC)
“You’re a dick,” Jensen said from beside Misha, not looking up from his phone.

“He is so easy,” Misha said, and sipped at his hot chocolate.

LOVE this exchange, laughed so loud at this!

Great fic, you totally nailed all the scenes. Really fun to read, great work! *thumbs up*
allamboy: Red Polo Jasonallamboy on November 28th, 2009 06:20 pm (UTC)
Thanks, glad you liked it!
fishgirl52fishgirl52 on November 29th, 2009 12:00 am (UTC)
loved this! misha getting jared to get him stuff, so funny. great ending too with the three of them. :)
allamboy: Red Polo Jasonallamboy on December 1st, 2009 11:30 am (UTC)
Thanks, it was fun!
cookiemom6067cookiemom6067 on February 10th, 2010 05:34 pm (UTC)
Found this while perusing your journal after commenting on "Live & On Stage" -

LOLZ - luv this.
allamboy: Red Polo Jasonallamboy on February 11th, 2010 11:12 am (UTC)
Trigger Warning: Lifematchboximpala on September 22nd, 2010 02:39 am (UTC)
allamboyallamboy on September 24th, 2010 01:09 am (UTC)
Annieaythia on September 22nd, 2010 07:29 am (UTC)
Peachy-blue...I like that part :D

This was kinda adorable in an "awww, Misha!" sort of way :P
allamboyallamboy on September 24th, 2010 01:09 am (UTC)
Glad you liked it!